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The thing about him was that he never shut up, just kept on chattering away. “If only you would say show me your breasts…” “No, go away!’ I said, but stood there waiting for what he had to say next. “They are very nice breasts … very big. I bet your boyfriend likes to look at them.” I was thinking about the shoes and didn’t catch what he’d said for a second or two. Then I said something brilliant, like, “What?” “I said I bet your boyfriend likes to see your breasts.” “What if he does? He’s my boyfriend after all.” “Yes, and that’s why I’m willing to pay you for the privilege. Believe me it would be a privilege to see them.” “You’re crazy!” “No, I’m not crazy. Well, I’m crazy to see your lovely body. But otherwise I’m not crazy at all.” I tried calling you then Barb, but got a busy signal. “Yeah? I was trying to get you!” “Oh shit! Isn’t that always the way?” “Yeah, crazy isn’t it?” “So what happened next?” “He asked me who I was calling. I said my boyfriend.” “Oh, you. ”“Sound like orc female,” Grum said glumly.“You don’t like the orc ladies?” Jane asked.“Oh, Grum like,” he said, eye going glassy. “Grum like.” There was a weird silence, and then Grum shook off the trance. “Grum have wife.”“You’re married?!” Jane said, nearly spitting out her food.“You little home wrecker,” Tina needled playfully.“Hey,” the orc said. “It okay. It okay. No worry. Human ladies no count. Wife have human man in basement. Grum no complain. Sometimes we have threesome.”“Wow,” Tina said. “That’s—”“It just okay,” Grum shrugged and then grinned. “Man use teeth sometime.”Jane clapped her hands together, stood up, and said to no one in particular, “Well, I guess you learn something new every day, dontcha?”Tina laughed, but then looked at her sister. With a curious tinge to her voice she said, “And Jane doesn’t?” The orc shook his head. “Surprise Grum, too. Such tiny mouth.” His eyes narrowed. “Hot and tight. Just think make Grum hard.”Tina’s eyes dropped to the orc’s checkered.
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